The simple life

Simplicity. It's what I'm missing in my life. Why do I have so many things, big things, things that require maintenance, attention, money and stress like houses, cars and toys? How did life get this complicated. Every detail of life, sucks the life out of life. I remember being 20 and thinking one of the most important values in life was to simplify. I don't even know how to get there from here.

And also contentment. Why is it that I so value what I don't have and so devalue what I do have? Every time I want for something more, I'm so unhappy. And then when I get it I'm still unhappy only maybe more so because the expectation isn't even there anymore. I'm not content with my family members and their behavior. I'm not content in my spiritual life. I'm not content with my body. When, in reality, all of those things are really just fine, even better than fine when compared to most situations.

It's a mystery to me.